Review:Jack and Jill

There are...no words...

Let this be a lesson to you kids; never decide to go to the movies whilst intoxicated. If you do, you have no one to blame but yourself when you accidentally stumble upon a cinematic abomination like Adam Sandler's latest disasterpiece, Jack and Jill. 

The conceit of the movie is a holiday family piece. Jack (Adam Sandler) is not looking forward to his twin sister Jill coming to visit. Jill (played by Adam Sandler in the worst drag seen on screen since Eddie Murphy in The Klumps) is loud, overbearing and obnoxious which explains why Adam Sandler decided to cast himself in the role. Much of the movie's stumbling stabs at comedy come from Sandler's Jack playing the world weary straight man to Sandler's Jill as she bumbles through  socially awkward situations ripped wholesale from 1980's family movies. 

The bad humor and unfunny drag show are grating and miserable but they are not the worst things about this movie. The worst thing about this movie is the boldface sincerity in which it is told. Under heaps of fart jokes, poorly timed slapstick, and wacky misunderstandings, the movie has the asinine gall to try and tell a sincere story about loving your family for who they are. 

Once again, Adam Sandler sabotages his own legacy as an actor and as a comedian. Click, Spanglish and Reign Over Me were movies that tried to establish Sandler as a capable actor but his latest films completely destroy his reputation. 

Ultimately, I think one of Sandler's movies said it best...

That just about sums it up. But hey, if  you're looking for a way to sober up after a night on the town, there is no more sobering a movie.

Rating: .5/5 (By virtue of the fact that it existed) 

Review: Paranormal Activity 3

Rare is the horror movie series that stays scary.

What was scary in the first installment usually becomes familiar by the second installment and by the time episode three comes out, audiences wise to the series' tricks find themselves feeling bored rather than frightened. That said, the Paranormal Activity series manages the impossible by remaining gruesomely atmospheric and hauntingly amazing well into its third installment.

Paranormal Activity 3 takes place before the first Paranormal Activity during Katie and Kristi's childhood. Their father, a wedding videographer, begins recording when he suspects that something is amiss in his new home. Strange noises, objects moving mysteriously and Katie's imaginary friend "Toby" serve to set the scene for continuously escalating horror that builds to a climax that had half the theater jumping out of their seats.

Paranormal Activity 3 paces itself perfectly. Instead of relying on cheap jump scares or gory scenes of mutilation, it takes its time slowly ratcheting up suspense. Instead of elaborate slasher costumes or overengineered movie monsters, Paranormal Activity 3 works through allusion and suggestion, letting the audience imagine ghastlier horrors than could ever be captured on screen. Bumps, creaks and cheap visual effects are used to great effect here and the way the movie is shot makes it seem realistic and intensely more terrifying.

Paranormal Activity 3 is an ideal horror movie and one that stays with viewers long after the credits roll. There were a few minor technical gripes (such as an over-reliance on a tracking shots) that kept me from giving it a perfect score but at the end of the day, this was a fine example of classic horror at its finest. By relying on suggestion and the infinite power of imagination, Paranormal Activity 3 is sure to have you sleeping with the lights on for the for the rest of the year.

Score 4/5

Review: Dream Theater; A Dramatic Turn of Events

Following the departure of long time drummer Mike Portnoy, Dream Theater fans were a bit skeptical about the band's future. Though Dream Theater has in the past changed out keyboard players and frontmen, Portnoy was a founding member of the band and is considered by many to be one of the greatest drummers alive today. So, with equal parts apprehension and excitement, Dream Theater fans turn to the band's latest offering, A Dramatic Turn of Events (Roadrunner). 

My first reaction to this album was not a favorable one, though for reasons other than Portnoy's replacement (Mike Mangini). The overall musical style of the album is something of a throwback to the band's early days. The album is a bit meandering and directionless compared to the airtight Octavarium or the sprawling opus, Six Degrees of Inner Separation. While this may endear many older fans, I am part of the group that believes that Dream Theater got better as time went on. 

This return to formula may be signs of a band who is unsure of its identity. Portnoy served as a chief songwriter and was the driving force behind some of the band's more memorable songs, including The AA Suite, a massive collection of twelve songs chronicling his struggles with alcoholism. Dream Theater seems reluctant to let Mike Mangini write so guitarist John Petrucci has taken over writing the majority of music and lyrics. A fine songwriter in his own right, Petrucci was nevertheless more effective as part of a team. 

Collectively, the album is fine. The level of musicianship is what fans have come to expect from Dream Theater and Mike Mangini proves himself more than capable of matching Portnoy's technical ability. But while the album on the whole is fine, nothing stands out. Every previous Dream Theater album had a track that completely blew me away and this album is sorely missing such a track. In the course of writing this review, I had to go back and listen to the album again because it lacked an identity of its own. 

The plane on the album cover is very descriptive of this album. Dream Theater seems to be stuck in a holding pattern; still flying but not really going anywhere

Score: 3/5

Review: Heroes of Olympus:Son of Neptune

Background

My favorite guilty pleasure is young-adult novels that I can plow through in a day and a half (or several particularly boring class periods). One of my favorite series that I've digested in the course of a week is the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. Percy Jackson follows the adventures of the eponymous hero, a modern day demigod and son of  the Greek God Poseidon, as he attempts to stop the titan Kronos from taking his throne back.

The short series concluded and Riordan now comes out with his sequel series, The Heroes of Olympus. The first book of the series, The Lost Hero, introduced new heroes and focused on the disappearance of Percy Jackson and the discovery of Roman demigods, namely the scion of Jupiter named Jason Grace. The second novel shifts focus back to Percy Jackson as he struggles with amnesia, lost in the mythological world of the Roman demigods.

Review

The Percy Jackson series relies on riffing on classic mythological concepts and bringing them into the modern world (previous books have featured the entrance to Hades in Los Angeles, Mount Olympus in New York City and Hera's Garden in Oregon). In this book, Percy Jackson finds himself in the Roman demigod camp located in Berkeley after being pursued by a pair of gorgons. On arrival, his motivations are questioned and he must venture North to Alaska to challenge the threat of the titan Gaia and her giants.

Riordan paces the book fairly well but it feels like we have tread the same ground before in his previous book, The Lost Hero, which featured an amnesiac demigod switching sides and attempting to stop Gaia. It's handled competently but the plot feels a bit recycled.  Moreover, it suffers from the series' previous issues of relying on the source materiel to the extent that anyone familiar with it should be able to predict the outcome of the story.

Still, for a young adult novel, Son of Neptune is uncompromising. The efficient military brutality of the Roman demigods is brought into the forefront and we never cut away for brutal monster deaths. By the same token, the Greco-Roman gods aren't altered to make them more "kid-friendly" and appear in their wild, cold and borderline sociopathic glory. Caught between vicious threats from the titans and the bitter indifference of their divine parents, Riordan makes it very easy to sympathize with the demigods.

Flaws aside, Son of Neptune is very well done and a worthy addition to the Percy Jackson stable. Definitely worth a look for younger readers and even I, a twenty-one year old college student, managed to enjoy it.